I was cuddled up close…very close, to a man on a swing bench. Our surroundings were absolutely amazing! We sat under wide- thick- overhanging branches of overgrown- gorgeous trees, peeking out over a vast body of water. The type of trees did not match the water. It wasn’t a small limited lake, but a vast endless beautiful ocean. How are these full woodsy trees at the beach? The beauty did not make sense…at least in my earthly experiences. It was cozy, safe and magnificent all at the same time. I was satisfied, content, whole not longing for one thing. My longings were met.
The man sat confidently while I squeezed up next to him in a little ball of flesh. How am I sitting like this with a man that is not my husband and feel so right? I looked into his face and it was Jesus. I wanted to be so close to him. I was closer than close…so close that I was not completely separate from him. We sat together. I was next to him, but a part of him. In him. Amazingly, this did not change him…he sat comfortably and softly upright. He simply had his arm up on the bench around me, open. He enjoyed, in a pure way that I wanted to be near him, so near to him I couldn’t get enough of him. My vulnerability, my desire for him did not make him weak. He remained strong. He didn’t draw me in forcefully. He did not take from me or expect of me.
We talked and communicated, but not with words.
I then hung my head and confessed of my broken yucky heart. I said outloud, “ I know I have a heart that is messed up and I know there is work to be done.” Everything about him seemed to smile. He leaned over a bit and gave me the sweetest, gentlest, giving kiss on my cheek and whispered, “that is going to be easy”. He continued to smile assurance. I knew he meant he would take care of it. It was going to be easy for him to heal me. That is his business. That is what he does. I was so taken back…relieved…. surprised by his answer. I look forward to sitting with him again. He is our healer, our one true love, our perfect father. One in all, all in one.